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About JennysDad

JennysDad started this conversation
Aug 30, 2010

It is an ugly truth that this kind of plea for help can sometimes generate unwanted attention, from less than decent people. In the last week I have posted on two Help sites and all it has generated is scam attempts. It has been very frustrating, but it has taught me a few things. First, there are very few people out there willing and/or capable of helping a total stranger who posts a plea on a website. Second, there are thousands of people out there cold hearted enough to try and scam the poor and desperate. It's sick.

I have a 20 year old daughter who has a nasty form of cancer. She has undergone various forms of treatment and has fought it for 3 years. That, combined with the terrible economy and even worse jobs availability in my field has hurt us badly. We have been able to fight off the final blow for some time, but we have reached it now. We have no food in the house, are about to have our utilities shit off and after the first we face eviction.

I court ridicule and laughter from my family by seeking aid online using begging sites, but I felt I had no choice. The upshot of it all was that I ended up being ridiculed and given false hope by scammers. I opened myself up to this obviously, but it is still frustrating. I have givin up all hope of charity coming our way, and I am preparing myself for a very bad time. But there is something I can offer the legit aid seekers out there.

Please, be careful who you treat with when going after any offer that comes your way. If someone offers you help via email that should be the first red flag. Most donors are not going to contact you prior to giving you that donation. There are some that may however, so here is what to look for when it happens.

Bad spelling and phrasing in the body of the email It usually starts with an strange endearment like "Hello Dearest" or the like. Phrasing looks as though it were put through a translation site.

A free service email address. Anyone actually speaking for a church or charity is unlikey to have a gmail or Yahoo email address. If the person contacting you is not doing so from a organizational email address it is a scam. You can also look at the email header and see what the "Recieved From" IP address is and run it through a whois service. Even if they are using a free email address the IP will still be recorded. Of the 20 or so emails I have had offering help all but one originated in Lagos Nigeria.

Anyone who askes you to pucrhase equipment as a way of getting started, askes for a processing fee or wants you to distribute a portion of your funds is a scammer. Legit donors will never ask you for these things. 

Never give out personal info, especially bank accounts or passwords and think twice about giving out your address. If the person will not use Paypal you are likely getting scammed.

Be careful. These scams will not only cause you further money problems, but some can even end with YOU in legal trouble.

 

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Schmidty
Jul 22, 2011
Wow, it sounds like you have been bitten more than a few times. I know the feeling. Yes, you are a hare in a forest thick with wolfs, always remember that.
I'm sorry that you have gone through thises troubles and deeper yet, that your daughter has cancer.This is one of the few places on the web where you can get help from people who ask for nothing more than your friendship, if you stick around at all.
We have even been screwed by the people who run this site intentional or not.It's a long long story , yet the only thing that matters are that there are people in this world who will help with out asking for anything, except(oh, I knew it ,here it comes) the feeling of goodness that they get by helping someone else out who is having troubles and as I said before , friendship if you stick around and many don't.We use to be like family on here but that like a fart in the wind. There are a few who have been on here for a while that stick around, not many.
Now, to your problems, try www.cancercare.org and ask for the booklet that they can send you.It has places in there that will help with different things and they tell you who and what. If you don't mind my asking, what type does she have?It will help me get more accurate information for you.
As for you whole house hold as you found out has been picked clean or nearly so. I have a list of places on my homepage that should be able to help you, use it as a reference. Use any or all. You can try 211.org also. It may not have been picked clean in your area.
If you need more help let me know, I'll be glad to help.
reply to Schmidty
jhalligan
Jul 15, 2011
sounds all to familiar, I wish the best to all of you and my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. My situation has not gotten much better but I can see light at the ed of the tunnel, I just hope its not the train... :)
reply to jhalligan
Starshine
Sep 4, 2010
 in response to Diana1222...   

Hello

I enjoyed reading about your life and how your landlord works with you when times are rough..You were lucky someone gave you so much money as they saw how hard you were working. That is wonderful that people are paying attention to others. 

I hope life continues to treat you well and more good times are around the corner. 

Wishing you the best

Starshine

reply to Starshine
Diana1222
Sep 4, 2010

   I want you to know that as bleak as things may seem at this time you will make it through. I know. I did. Just when you think you can not make it through, you will come up with an idea, a prayer will be answered or out of the blue a neighbor will call you aside without knowing any details about your life and tell you that they are so impressed at how hard you work to provide for your family, they see you putting forth effort in everything you do and hand you a check for a thousand dollars to spend on anything you need. It happened to me.

   I wish I could reach out and give you a hug. I wish I had won the lottery so I could help. But, all I can offer you is my experience through difficult times that rocked my world to my soul. That is. . . until I realized what was really important.

   Do not loose hope. Even if you do have to give up every last thing you own. Which I have done. I, with my daughter lived in campgrounds in a tent for almost a year. Then we were able to move up to a very cheap hotel room for a year. Then to a 25 foot travel trailer for a year.

   To this day I thank god for the family that owns that hotel. They saved us. Gave me a break when I didn't have the next weeks payment. It is not the possessions we have that define us or the house we live in. It is the people who we hold close and the things we do. If it means having a garage sale to sell off prize possessions or making a visit to the pawn shop with the wedding rings to put food on the table understand that you have each other and that is what is most important.

   I posted two years ago here on this blog. Although I did not receive the instant help that I thought I needed it did come.

   Today, while those who actually told me they thought less of me for not having a job, a home or even a car that would run every time I tried to start it are now suffering more than I ever did. I am employed, have a job that I love, have a great home that I rent but, treat it as if I own it myself which in return has earned me major points with my landlord when hours were cut for the summer slow down and was late on rent.

   Because I pinch every penny I earn and have lived this way for years. I am actually better off financially than people I know who have lived in $250.000 homes and have more possessions than they can count. I know I am a lot happier than they are.

   Have faith. . . in yourself, your family and your friends. You will make it through this.

My best to you and your family.

Diana

reply to Diana1222
Anonymous
Aug 30, 2010
 in response to JennysDad...   

This is very true and the reason why admin keeps the site clear of such problems. I know we all appreciate all the information that you have given and if you ever need to just vent, feel free. 

Everyone is having a tough time right now. When you have a family member that is ill I think that only makes the situation 100x harder. I wish I had the answers and the money to help everyone. 

reply to Anonymous
JennysDad
Aug 30, 2010
 in response to whoknew...   

Thanks!

The unfortunate thing is that there are many people out there who fall for these scams. Desperation can sometimes breed ignorance and push a person beyond what would normally be common sense and common caution. Scammers prey on this desperation. It makes little sense to me that the poor would make good targets for those animals, but that is the case. The more people know what to look for, the more likely they will not take that one chance, hoping for a miracle, only to end up in a worse position than before.

reply to JennysDad
Anonymous
Aug 30, 2010

You give some great advice! Everyone should be so aware.

Have you tried Modest needs? They may be able to help 

Also places like Catholic charities, st Vincent de paul, and united way may be able to help or  direct you to local organizations in your area

I would also check with govbenefits.gov - your daughter may be entitled to state/federal benefits 

I hope this helps and I wish you the best. 

reply to Anonymous
Starshine
Aug 30, 2010

Hello

I assume your daugther is living with you?

http://www.cleaningforareason.org/

I give you this link in case she can use this service or pass it along to other women who have cancer. It is a free housekeeping service for women with cancer..

Blessings to you and yours

Starshine

reply to Starshine
Starshine
Aug 30, 2010

Hello

I am so sorry about your daughters cancer. You and others are having it rough and especially facing losing a place to live.  I hope what I provide helps some

CLICK HERE

FOR Website

We know the financial burden of cancer can be great. So, for more than 60 years, we have provided limited grants for certain expenses related to treatment. Our financial assistance program is one of the longest running and best regarded in the country.

In order to qualify, you need to provide CancerCare with information about your income, savings and expenses, and in some cases provide invoices for the cost of service. Your healthcare professional must also provide information on your cancer. Download our financial assistance application in English PDF or en español PDF .

Please be aware that our grants are not for basic living expenses such as rent, mortgages, utility payments or food. Please contact your local United Way to find out if they offer a 211 referral line to find resources that can help.

Below is a description of our programs available to people nationwide. Please contact CancerCare at 1-800-813-HOPE (4673) for more information.

Here are some job ideas

CLICK HERE

And here for maybe some finanicial assistance

CLICK HERE

I wish you the best and better times

Starshine

reply to Starshine